At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
