hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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