I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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