:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
