Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
