'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
