Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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