that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i think i just naturally attract stoners
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
