I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
