I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
