she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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