i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
