She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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