All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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