How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
