I am spending my child support on dildos
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
