yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
