Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
