oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
