anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
