just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
wakey wakey hands off snakey
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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