she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
