We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
