Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
