Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
