If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
