the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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