I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize