put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
