i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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