I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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