I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
