Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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