She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
