He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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