Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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