my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
