Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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