I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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