She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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