Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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