everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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