I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We were destined to go to rehab together
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
