I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
