During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't think brook has ever known best
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
