How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I need water and some morals
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
