I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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