Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
