Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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