its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
