real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
