Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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