You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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